This column will change your life: the unexamined life might be worth living
Sometimes it's best to stop all the clocks, switch off your phone and studiously avoid all mirrors.
Earlier this year, two American bloggers triggered a global media convulsion by embarking on what they called a "mirror fast": covering the mirrors in their homes, and shunning mirrors elsewhere, in an effort to reduce what one of them called "the overriding self-consciousness that's taken up residence in my psyche". Since the social pressure to conform to ideals of beauty falls mainly on women, I can only guess what it's like to be so aware of one's appearance: I assume it's related to what I feel whenever a badly-angled photo reminds me how astoundingly bald I am. But for the fasters, the experiment proved a liberation. "All the other interests in my life – my goals, passions, friends, family, favourite hobbies, etc – have attracted the energy and attention I used to give to my looks," wrote Kjerstin Gruys, while Autumn Whitefield-Madrano said she felt "calmer and more serene". They'd pulled off an ingenious psychological trick. In a world obsessed with appearances, it's impractical just to decide you're going to think differently. What they'd done, instead, was to deny themselves the feedback that fuelled the fixation.
In a parallel exercise last month, Steven Corona, a tech entrepreneur from South Carolina, "unsubscribed from the clock": "I dropped my watch right into the garbage. Shut off the glowing green-blue digital clocks that seem to piggyback on every appliance known to man..." He switched his iPhone to a random time zone (and did, he admits, continue to use its calendar to notify him of appointments). Much mockery followed: clock-fasting, critics rightly noted, wasn't an option for those who had to show up at an office by 9am daily. Still, as a compulsive watch-checker, I was inspired. After a few disorienting days, Corona says, his stress levels plummeted; he lost himself in projects, and learned to "read the sun". Insomniacs are advised to hide their clocks, because what doctors call "nocturnal time-monitoring behaviour" is relaxation's greatest foe. Corona simply took that principle to its conclusion.
You, of course, may have no hang-ups about mirrors or clocks. But it can be illuminating to ask if you've got other sources of feedback you might be better off without. Bathroom-scale readings? Bank-balance checking? All have their place. But all are also subject to the problem with personal feedback: once you've developed the habit of measuring something, it's hard to resist the conclusion that that thing matters. Maybe it doesn't. (And even if it does, maybe intuition would serve you better.) Sometimes, there may be data about ourselves we're better off not knowing.
Taken from HERE.
I think this article is the type of article that need to be read in society nowadays, especially for teenagers. First of all, it is very true that beauty standard is becoming a real issue in society lately. People tend to look up to beauty standards, causing the feeling of insecurity, and people are most likely to hate themselves just because they don’t meet the “beauty standard” requirement. I mean the stigma these days are just over the roof. “You need to be slimmer!”, “You need to be white to look good!”, “You are not allowed to have scars in your body!” Those are some of many assumptions of beauty standards that really create a downfall of moral in the society. That’s why I consider it a very brilliant idea to avoid being in front of the mirror just to appreciate yourself more and to care less about the feedback from the society of how you look.
ReplyDeleteFor the clock-fasting idea, I’m not really sure if this could be implemented in this era. I mean, now everyone have to be somewhere in certain times, so I think it is a rather bad idea to keep people from clocks, because it would disturb just too many aspects of one’s life.
People nowadays are often blinded by the beauty standard set by the society. They become overwhelmed by fitting themselves in order to be accepted in their environment. I think it is best for all of us to start implementing better values about appearance because, apparently, we are society. If we want to change the status quo because e are sick of seeing bullies and how people are constantly comparing their self to others, there’s no better way than start to make a change by ourselves. If anyone ever wanted to change their looks, it should be done to please themselves and not to anybody else. About the clock-fasting, I don’t think we can literally apply that nowadays. But better, we can do something else that is quiet similar with the idea and the main purpose of clock-fasting; blocking any information that might break us down. This can be done by stop following a social media account that makes you constantly insecure about yourself, mute any notification from twitter or news web that might trigger your anxieties, or even bolder, block the contact of a person that brings you negativity. We don’t have any control towards the act of society, but we share can filter anything that doesn’t benefit us and only focus on what makes us happy.
ReplyDeletePeople are constantly trying to improve their looks and shape their pesonality to please others. We want to fit into society but it feels alot like torture for most people. Stress, anxiety and deppression will eventually get to those people. I think the main cause why people want to fit in is because our society is judgemental, they dont like people who are different in any kind of way. As for clock fasting, i’ve only heard it a couple of times before this and I rarely see people doing it. I think this is not a practical thing to do, especially when you live in a city like jakarta, where the proverb “time is money” is the reality. I myself have experinced this kind of impulsive checking. In highschool I was so obsessed with making money, so i checked my bank account every week, i think peer pressure and being surrounded by so many successful and wealthy people drove me to do to that thing.
ReplyDeleteI'm not even surprised anymore. Beauty standards have always been the issues over many centuries, where if we don't follow these criteria, we will often get discriminate, dissociate, and other mistreatment. The thing is this beauty standards is getting ridiculous, people can literally pour a bazzilion amount of money just to get that pink-thick lips. Not to mention, some of them can lead to a serious case like disease that might be cannot be cured. Adding to the vast internet connection consequently rising in cyber-bullying. Luckyly, many people are starting to sound their voices. Ignoring the disadvantages, the internet actually have been used by these rebels to spread this issue and bring more people to the field. As for the clock-fasting idea, it's okay as long as they can still get it done and not procrastinating but I would recommend to not do it often because there must be something need to be punctually done and without the time itself, how can we manage it?. I, myself, consider to be a check-listing person. Everyday, I would start my day by writing tasks that need to be done with checklist box beside them and with that I feel more calm and organized. Every check that I fill in, it felt satisfying.
ReplyDeleteThis article is very relatable to people nowadays. I think that even before social media had become a part of our daily life, people already have to deal with insecurities. Insecurities can lead to stress and it's very harmful to our mental health. But now, since social media plays a big role in our daily life, insecurities are getting worse among people. Stop looking at our phone can help a lot. I, myself, have ever tried to turn off my phone. Even it's just for a day, it helps freshen my mind. "Mirror fast" can be a good choice for those who are currently dealing with insecurities. "Mirror fasting" can help us to regain our confidence and realize that our self-worth isn't defined by the way we look. Sometimes, "unsubscribing from the clock" can also help those who need a break from daily activities that requires speed at work and has a lot of deadlines.
ReplyDeleteThis article is what our generation needs. We need to take a break. A break from every annoying little thing on our life.
ReplyDeleteMirrors took a huge part in every girl’s life. It seems like it is their source of life. But in my opinion, mirror can take their happiness too. “I look fat in this shirt.”, “I look ugly.”, “My eyebrows are too thin.”, “I look too skinny.”, “I’m very chubby.”. These are the words that I hear every day in high school. Girls please believe me on this one. You are not too skinny, not too fat, and your eyebrows look very good because everybody is beautiful in their own ways. You don’t have to be skinny to be beautiful, you just have to be confident.
But I disagree about unsubscribing from the clock. In my opinion it is not relevant. We have to be discipline and on time. You can be on time only if you know what time is it. Personally, I am used to arrange my day hour by hour, so it is impossible for me to do this thing. My schedule will fall apart if I unsubscribe form the clock.
As a woman living in a society that still enforces beauty standards, I am lucky. I do not fit the stereotypical petite light-skinned visuals that females tend to want. Let me be frank again. I am morbidly obese according to the BMI and taller than most Indonesian women. Due to this, many tend to be intimidated when they first meet me. I have not even experienced having a romantic relationship. Yet I say that I am lucky and even feel blessed. It is weird in the eyes of many since many do not expect me to brush off their comments about my appearance. My friends even described me as being “bodo amat”.
ReplyDeleteSo how do I not care about the constant whispers behind my back? It is simple. Just like how mirror fasts give less feedback, I cut out those people from my life. Being judged for having an appearance that is far below their standards allows me to filter through some who cares about me and others that mock me in secret. I can tell if people tell me to exercise for the sake of my health or to sneer at my body. Not receiving feedback from people or inanimate objects helped me to focus on what matters; the people around me and myself.
To conclude, people have their ways and processes to be able to love themselves. Some need constant feedback to see how far they have come. Others like me prefer not to listen and prioritize something else. This article is a great read and definitely should be read by everyone, especially my peers.
I find this article really amazing and helpful as I personally believe that I need a detox myself. Sometimes we as social beings tend to care more about our social environment rather than what is best for us. Although certain information and feedback is crucial in becoming a better person, we couldn’t deny that those things would soon become pressure on ourselves. Worrying about too much things isn’t a great thing to do as it would not make us more productive nor evolve but would instead lead to stress and procrastination. We sometimes tend to waste our time worrying about things that we think would make us better but actually only make us feel worse about ourselves. I believe that we all should at some point take a break in reflecting on ourselves and should focus in what we are trying to achieve as focusing on your negatives would not lead to anything but productivity.
ReplyDeleteI feel like there is a certain theme around this whole article. The point of a necessity, if used beyond its purpose, could have a negative outcome. But all in all, necessity is still important for us to base our priorities in. We need mirrors or front cameras to look at ourselves, to be able to reassure our self-conscience of our look. Do we look good enough? Is there something to fix? Maybe my hair needs a little bit of hair gel and a haircut soon. Maybe I have gotten out of track on my diet and realize that I am not satisfied with my goal yet. All these things are necessary to consider, especially as we are maturing into College students and soon into the professional real world. That is where the clock takes its important use. As classes have started, and it is way different than the non-hectic high school schedule, the term “Time is Money” has become more noticable. Whether that’d be the time you have to organize daily, or time in investment of something you hope to grow. A clock has the same purpose as the mirror for reassuring and reminding ourselves of the condition and situation we’d have to face everyday.
ReplyDeleteNowadays, people worry about their appearance and are blinded by beauty standards that exist. They are trying to change their looks and shape so that people around them will accept them and think that they are "pretty enough". People always try to fit themselves in the society and feel like they are not enough just because of how they look like. I can relate to people that think like this because Im always insecure about the way I look and constantly compare myself to other girls around me. I realised that this is not healthy and it took a toll on my mental health. However, we can try to always block those thoughts from our brain, probably by not going through our social media pages everyday. One important thing that I learned is that social media affects mental health.
ReplyDeleteFor the clock-fasting, I feel like that experiment could not be done nowadays. We need to check our clock occasionally, in order to be able to manage our time and finish our responsibilities. However, we can try to not be dependent on our clock too much. For example, If people are having fun and are living their best life, I think that they shouldnt worry too much about wasting time but rather enjoying the moment.
Since a very young age, my parents have never payed attention to my grades in a sense that they wouldn’t look at my report cards in detailed nor congratulated me on high marks. They do this because to them, getting a good grade in school is an obligation not a choice. Although some people may take advantage of this and slack off because their parents wouldn’t scold them if they were to get a low score, instead it pushed me to always strive for the best. This may seem like a good thing at first, but it very quickly became a bad habit. I wanted to get the best marks in every class, became the top scorer in my batch, win awards, and many other things. I put too much pressure on myself to the point wherein once I did become the best, I didn’t know what to do next.
ReplyDeleteThis article is pretty amazing because it’s true. We don’t always need to listen to feedbacks nor to compare ourselves with society. In doing so, we would either overestimate or underestimate ourselves. Instead of growing as an individual at a pace that our mind can handle, we force it to go faster, leaving us stranded and confused at the end of it. With that, I think that it is very important to forget about societal standards at times, whether it be about beauty or what to do with our lives. Even if people say that they’re there to become a benchmark, I think that it’s absurd because your life is your oyster and no one can say that there is a certain way to live it. There is no need to cover mirrors or turn off clocks when you finally realize your own worth and figure out your role in society.
As a kid I’ve never really cared much about the details. It didn’t matter to me that we had to color inside the lines, I’d always think “what’s wrong if we don't as long as we actually finish the drawing?”. As I grew older I started paying attention to every single detail until it drained so much of my energy. At times, I’d even compare myself with other people and their achievements. I don’t really understand how I became such a perfectionist. As long as I can remember, my parents never put that big of an emphasis on the need for me to be perfect as long as I kept on improving as a person and that I’ll always try to become a better version of myself. The environment I was in had always understood that making mistakes is a part of the process and that being good doesn’t mean that you have to be perfect. Despite all this, as I grew older I’ve always strived for perfection. I’d think to myself “the details are what makes up a picture” therefore without those details, there won’t be much to see and there won’t be any beauty in it.
ReplyDeleteI believe that sometimes we all just worry too much about where we need to be in the future that we forget about where we are now. We pay too much attention to the details that we forget that beauty can be found elsewhere. I guess we all just need to give ourselves a break and have a moment of silence that’ll make us realize that where we are now is already something that we can be proud of. If not, we can just take it step-by-step and improve ourselves along the way. Sure, covering mirrors and turning off clocks can be one of the ways for you to focus on yourself, but you wouldn’t need to do all that if you already know who you are and what you can do to make yourself better.
I am so grateful that I came across this article today, because I particularly needed this! I guess if I were to be asked about the sources of feedback I might be better off without, it would be people’s expectations. For the past years, I have always depended my identity on people’s expectations. However, in the process of forming that identity, I always compare myself to others and place pressure on myself to always achieve. I have forgotten that those things do not define me, what defines me is my essence; my authenticity, my heart for others and my aspiration to always do good. To be honest, I constantly focused on the things that are measurable; grades, achievements, awards. Yet, I have forgotten that the more prominent part of me, my true self, is the side to me that I must value. I need to realise that the reason for achieving highly is to enrich myself, not to live up to others’ expectations. Of course, that does not mean that I would be better off without others’ opinions, because constructive negative opinions can give us more views on how we can better ourselves everyday, and the positive ones can motivate us to strive for the better. However, that should not determine how we act or behave, because in the end of the day, it is about how we conduct ourselves. I believe that, from time to time, we should stop and reflect upon the things that have diverted us from our own essence as human beings, or the things that have made us forget about what really matters.
ReplyDeleteI strongly agree with the concluding statement of the article, “Sometimes, there may be data about ourselves we're better off not knowing.” As shown from the examples the writer discusses in the text, it is undeniably true that the more we are ‘aware’ of ourselves, the more self-conscious we are. Granted, it is difficult at this day and age where everything we own collects data from us. For example, the health app on my phone counts the number of steps I’ve done in a day. Ever since schooling became online due to the COVID-19 pandemic, my average daily number of steps has taken a steep, steep, STEEP drop - the average daily of 6,000 steps that I maintained during high school became a mere +/- 1,000 steps. Of course, I wasn’t to blame. Walking to places is such an integrated part of our lives, so obviously when COVID-19 started spreading and lockdowns were instituted, prohibiting us from going outside aka going to places, most people - if not everyone’s - average daily number of steps has decreased significantly. Do I want to see that - the quantifiable amount? I am already so aware of the dullness of my daily activities during lockdown because I had such a simple routine: wake up, go to the fridge, go to the bathroom, sit at my desk to do work, and then go to bed. Why would I ever want another reminder that’s presented in the form of quantitative data? No thank you.
ReplyDeleteNowadays, beauty standards are influencing people in every possible way. The typical beauty standard of the media is having a “pretty face” and a “good ideal body”. People who “have not” met the beauty standards may feel insecure. They may feel like they are not enough and will possibly lead to them changing their natural features just to meet the beauty standard of most people in the media. Most people want to fit in the society, they don’t want to feel alone in this big universe we live in so they try to improve their own self by doing things at the maximum. As what is said in the article, I think that everyone eventually needs a break from social media because it may be toxic for them, for us. It affects the way we do things, the way we dress and possibly the way we speak our words out. In my opinion, I think that too much for everything can be toxic for everyone.
ReplyDeleteI find the clock-fasting pitch as a very interesting idea! I do agree with some of the comments that mentioned that it sounds impossible in this era, considering how busy we have become and how most students and the working population are continuously chased by deadlines and meetings. However, I find this to be a really good idea that should be adopted for practice for those people who are trying to seek their inner zen or inner peace when they are on a break or a holiday. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that you are not under the pressure of time when you are doing certain activities or just taking as much time as you need to complete your activity in a very comfortable pace. Those two reasons might account for the diminishing stress during this clock fast.
ReplyDeleteI will keep this clock fast in mind. I might practice it sometime in the future when I am on a break and when I want to do things less stressfully because I would not have to feel guilty with how much time I spend doing it.
Everyone has their own time. I think that sentence is what we must emphasize. I remember that before we have our online classes, almost all of my friends already prepare for the class. They studied from their senior’s book, they read last year syllabus. I looked at myself and I found that I am still enjoying my holiday time. I got insecure about my academics even before I have my online class.
ReplyDeleteI think its important to remember that you can take your time, its okay to take it slow as long as you wil make it. It’s true that social media may be toxic, but I think you are the one that should control it. When it gets toxic, you should take a break. There’s a lot of beauty standards in the social media. Woman must have the hourglass body, or they should be white and so on. This get toxic, people tend to see whether they get how many likes in a day, how are their comments and so on.
If you get insecure by seeing an account, you should try to unfollow the account for the sake of your mental health. I think we don’t really need to apply the clock fasting idea, but you should try your best in keeping a stable mental health